I have written and re-written this post multiple times and the conclusion that I have come to is that makeup is really boring to write about. I also started questioning why I put more effort into my blog posts than my homework. Hmm... Anyways, makeup is supposed to make us look prettier. I have come up with criteria for a pretty face based off the half assed research I did while I was watching Doctor Who and cooking dinner and painting my nails. So here it is:
-Symmetry: Some scientists did a study somewhere, and they found that a large number of people prefer symmetrical facial to non symmetrical. If you believe in evolution then apparently that is somehow responsible for this and it is mirrored in the animal kingdom. If you don’t believe in evolution, then I guess God is just fucking with humanity again or maybe there is something in the bible explaining it. I don’t know. I just know what they (aka the board of shadowy figures) say and they say that people are attracted to people with symmetrical faces.
There is a lot that makeup can do but short of cosmetic surgery or the makeup artist ensemble of Avatar, I’m not really sure how to fix a noticeable lack of symmetry in the face. All I would suggest is to not emphasis any irregularities. For example if your left eye is larger than your right, don’t highlight it with hot pink eye shadow. Actually, do us all a favour, avoid hot pink eye shadow all together, everyone. You are not pretty woman.
-Youth: Yup the younger you look, the ‘prettier’ you become. I know it’s not fair. Wisdom and experience should be considered beautiful. Angelica Houston is one of the sexiest women alive and I’m kicking myself for forgetting her on my list. I’ve had a crush on her since Witches even though she scared the crap out of me. But my point, it’s not fair but it makes sense. Humans are here to procreate, its built into our genes to find someone to reproduce with who is fertile and generally speaking women lose the fertileness around the time they get wrinkles.
Having good skin helps. But a good foundation and cover up and powder can hide a multitude of sins. Accentuating your eyes by using an eye liner or creating smoky eyes make them look bigger and wider to fake that innocence. Ironically enough a dark shadow used for the smoky eyes will create bedroom eyes that scream come hither. So you’ll be a wide eyed, innocent little virgin waiting to be fucked.
-Clear skin: Bah, bane of my existence. I’m 25, I drink boat loads of water, I wash my face with a 4 step system and I still get acne. Sigh. Clear skin is sexy because I don’t have it. POUT. Okay sorry. I think this one goes make to choosing a mate to parent mankind with. Clear skin indicates youth, health, and fertility, all qualities you’d look for in a gal you wanna knock up.
Drink lots of water. Find a skin care regime that works for you. Wash your face in the morning and before you go to bed. Moisturize with an SPF moisturizer. Eat foods that are good for you. And if you still are a mess, then all hail Cover Girl.
-Lips. Apparently the lips on your face mirror your twat’s lips. So the redder and fuller they are then the readier you look for sex. Mmm... Think about that the next time you kiss your grandparents. Whether or not that is the reason full lips are considered sexy, there is truth to full lips being sexier. Think of Angelina Jolie.
If you have thin lips use a lip liner pencil to trace the outside of your lips. Don’t go overboard so you look like a clown. Then fill in the rest of your lips and use a gloss on top of that. If you already have full lips you may want to use a mat lip stick over a gloss as to not call too much attention to your kisser. Too much of a good thing may still be a good thing but it’s also still too much. You don’t need to rub it in to the rest of us. If you have somewhere between thin and super full lips then you can go for either gloss or a mat lip colour.
*A note on colour. Very few people can successfully pull of lady of the night red. So unless you’ve got a whole 1930’s movie harlot thing going on (with hair and makeup and wardrobe) or you’re going for the look of a street walker then you’ll want to pick something a little more natural looking. The friendly sales girl at your local makeup counter will likely be more than happy to help you find what you need.
I was going to make a video to show you how to put on makeup but the truth is that I really don’t have any authority on putting on makeup. In all honesty, the entire contents of my makeup bag is likely less than $100. I use $2 mascara. It serves its purpose for me but I know it’s not top of the line awesome shit that an educated makeup artist would tell you to wear. But I did find this video on the youtube for your viewing pleasure.
As colour goes I think natural colours are more appealing to men. I have this theory that women wear makeup for other women more than they do for men. Men don’t know half the time whether or not women wear makeup or how it was applied or what colour they are wearing. And I’m pretty sure electric blue and neon green scare them a little bit. So stick to the natural colour palate. But black is always good, says the girl who works in a goth shop.
Random Tips
-Think about where/ when you are wearing your makeup. Vamping it up may not be appropriate for a PTA meeting. Going fresh faced isn’t always the best idea for a gown/ tux gala event. You’re going to do your hair, do your face too.
-Drag queens are men performing the female gender. It is supposed to be exaggerated because it’s a performance. You are not performing. Don’t be heavy handed with your makeup.
-Don’t wear makeup to the gym. It’s bad for your skin. Plus your there to work out not get a man. It’s a health club not a dance club. Also you’ll look like a tool.
I’m sorry if this post has come across as trite. As a youngster, I wanted to be a makeup artist. I had books and a kit with every colour of every product imaginable. If I had written this ten years ago, it would have been much more interesting. When I sat down to write about makeup I was drawing a blank. I’m sorry. I blame the government.
Next week is my monthly update which will include a video of my pole dancing and belly dancing. I don’t think I’ve lost any weight. I think I’ve only managed to maintain, but we’ll see next week.
Love
Devo (whip it. Whip it, good.)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
RANT
Oh baby, its rant time.
Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that for actresses, tv personalities, models, and even singers being gorgeous is part of the job. There are whole teams of people assigned to making sure that they look good. Nutritionist tell them what to eat, trainers tell how to exercise, dermatologists make their skin flawless, makeup artists make their skin more flawless, photo shop artists make their skin even more flawless (not to mention make their tits look bigger, their waist look smaller, and plethora of other alterations), and the photography team makes sure all their equipment erase any other ‘imperfections’.
My body is perfect. With maybe the exception of a slight chemical imbalance in my brain, it does everything it is supposed to do, and it does it all without me consciously having to tell it to. Blood circulates, wounds heal, nose hair filters, and my body is functionally perfect. So why can’t I just be grateful and enjoy that I have this high tech, brilliant piece of machinery at my disposal to carry around my sentient, conscious self? It’s the sentient, conscious self that prevents me from just being grateful. The thing that makes me human prevents me from appreciating my perfect body, which is kind of ironic because it’s that human part that allows me to be aware that it should be appreciated. Did that make anyone else dizzy?
You may be thinking ‘Devon, I enjoy your blog, but where the fuck are you going with this? Last week you said you were going to talk about makeup. I’m confused. You haven’t even said fucking this or fucking that yet.” Well first of all fucking fuck. Second of all, I lied, makeup will come later. And third, I need to get this out of me, off my chest, out the door, and if possible on a rocket to the fucking moon.
I got my fucking period this week and I was PMSing like mad. I ate an entire chocolate shop (including the poor sales girl), I listened to so much Cake that I wondered if any relationship ever works out, I projectile vomited, I gained weight, and I felt so fucking insecure that it lead to some very poor decisions on my part as well as several fits of uncontrollable crying. Luckily, I was able to keep being mean to a minimum, or at least to other people. I was very, very mean to myself. If I could bruise from mentally beating myself up; I would be blacker and bluer than if I was pushed down a couple of flights of stairs followed by being run over by an elephant.
I am told I am a confident woman. I feel more confident now than I ever have before. I don’t take shit anymore. I tell people to fuck off when they put me down or get in my space or whatever and once in a while I hit them when they don’t listen. But fuck me, I felt so shitty this week that I could have been convinced to join a cult and drink the Kool-Aid that will send me to utopia. I felt so broken. I felt fat, ugly, old, stupid, dull, and bitchy, I was drawn into this perpetual cycle of being not good enough. I felt like everyone knew that I wasn’t good enough but that they hung around me because there was nothing better to do (note to anyone who feels this way 24/7, see a doctor. You might be depressed.).
I convinced myself that my editor wanted to edit for someone else even though he’s never said or done anything to suggest he felt that way, aside from comment on the attractiveness of another writer. I am so fucking aware that someone else being attractive doesn’t make me unattractive. I find so many men and women really fucking hot. I have a mad crush on Nathan Fillion and I would give Amanda Palmer tongue any day of the week but that doesn’t diminish my (purely professional) attraction to my super sexy editor. And yet, I felt like he wanted to work for this other girl instead. I started looking top ten sexiest women lists and comparing myself to them and I kept coming up short. It compounded until in my stupidity and insecurity I asked my editor if he thought I actually needed to lose weight. He said yes. And I shut down. In his defense, he reminded me that losing weight is part of this blog, and that I seem happier when I weigh a bit less. Also he didn’t know what had been going through my head because I hadn’t told him. He didn’t mean I was fat. He didn’t mean I wasn’t sexy. He didn’t mean that he didn’t find me attractive. But in my head, all those things came rushing at me. So I hid in my almost dark room and belly danced until I didn’t feel like crying anymore.
What’s the fucking point of my story? It is that I have this belief that women are conditioned to be insecure. It might be an evolutionary thing. We must look better than our sisters so that we can get the best seed to secure our legacy. It might be a capitalist economical thing. If we are happy with our selves then we won’t need to buy things to make us better. It might be the media creating a need to fill. If we don’t need someone to tell us how to be then all those tv make over show hosts, entertainment gossipers, talk show hosts ect would be out of work. It may be everything combined. It may all be fucking bullshit. But using other women as a measuring stick needs to stop because there will always be someone thinner, pretty, bustier, flatter, and curvier out there and the insecurity will always be there. It will work its way through the cracks and fuck up your life. You need to love your fucking body all the fucking time because without it, you’d just be a brain in a jar. As soon as I figure out how to do this, I will let you know. I love my body 84.7% of the time. I know that everyone needs to be down occasionally to experience the good but not loving my body shouldn’t be part of that. There’s enough crap in life to be depressed about it, my perfectly functional body should/ will not be part of that crap.
That being said, I’m not giving up. I’m continuing with my blog and this project. But at the end of the day, my primary concern is that I’m going to do what is best for me physically and mentally. So if I need to eat a fucking cookie, stand naked in front of a mirror and love/ appreciate the way I look right now, then I will. And if a week after I eat that cookie I regret it when I’m looking at a picture of Meagan Fox, I’m going to tell her to lick my clit and love that I have a fabulous, fat filled pair of knockers.
Sexy is what I say it is, and damn I’m a sexy chick.
Next week is makeup, no for real this time.
Kisses
D.D.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
interviews!
So this week I thought I’d take a week off and let other people do the writing for me. I have exciting interviews for your reading pleasure. First an e-mail interview I did with the stunning Yeti, Dutch accordion goddess from France, next some smart/ awesome boys I know answer some questions for me, and finally a video interview with Rock star/ Fashion icon/ Vancouver designer/ Empress of all Worlds (but you can call her ‘her greatness’) Sanne Lambert owner/ operator of Venus & Mars. Enjoy! ( I know I did...)
Yeti!
.jpg)
1) For those who don't know of you, could you give a brief biography.
What? Not everybody knows of me yet?
OK there we go...
I was doing serious studies to become a graphic designer in Holland, when I found an old accordion, covered with dust in some hidden corner of a second hand shop in Prague. I took it home, mostly for its flowered bellow and its woodcraft, but when I tried to play it, I discovered a beautiful melancholic sound and very soon I started to like typing on its pearl keyboard much more than on the plastic computer one.
My artschool certificate ended up in the paper-bin, I packed my bags and travelled with my squeeze box to the south of France, got seduced by its weather, the nature, the lovely villages and a man living in a charming town called Montpellier. The man disappeared, but Montpellier stayed. So did I.
I learned more or less how to speak French and used to sing and play the accordion in the streets.
Months turned into years, the streets made place for real stages where I met other like-minded musiciens and in 2000 I started my band Yeti ( www.myspace.com/yetila ). Yeti is the French homonym of my real Dutch name Jetty.
First covering old French songs and then creating my own (in French, s'il vous plaît!), I've been playing solo or with the band in festivals and clubs all over Europe and Quebec and recorded 2 CDs.
2) What is your definition of sexy?
A contagious state of feeling nice and beautiful in your body. I find someone sexy when he or she makes me feel sexy. But careful! Someone can be really sexy on a picture but looking like a rusty nail in real. Or having a very harsh high-pitched voice or a dusty smell that destroys everything. And if someone who's not sexy but who tries to act like, it's mostly tragi-comical.
3) Coming from Europe, do you notice a difference in what is considered sexy in France versus what is considered sexy in North America?
Even within Europe (just like in North America), every country, every region has differences in what is considered sexy already! Fashions are different, just like cultures, religions, eating traditions and backgrounds. For my example, being a Dutch woman of average height means being some sort of giant in the South of France. I don't think that a lot of Mediterranean men are able to find a giant girl called Yeti sexy...
But for sure, as soon you switch on TV, one might think that all sexy-considered women are twin sisters, no matter if they are American, Polish or French. These are sisters from The Big Skeleton Family, stuffed with hormones to maintain their big tits. We might be able to distinguish the American by their tendency to exaggerate their body-sculpting in fitness centers and the portions of botox that make their faces even more expressionless. But can we generalize cultures by watching TV? I don't think so. I hope not, anyway.
4) Do you feel that there are impossible or unreasonable beauty standards places upon French women, American women?
Of course! I mentioned already the ridiculous no-weight and zero-wrinkle-standards, you mentioned them as well in your blog, everybody knows about them, we all think it's bad and stupid and still the world seems to adore naked bones smoothened up by tons of make-up and Photoshop-effects... Real nature seems to scare. And unfortunately there are still a lot of women who think that one needs to follow these strict beauty-rules in order to be actually beautiful and sexy.
5) If you could pick a celebrity to define the media's or society as whole's representation of what is sexy, who would you pick?
Penelope Cruz. We're seeing her a little too much these days (at least in Europe), even in commercials and big-audience movies and I think that's a shame, but she remains for me a real sex bomb, a great actress, with an incredible spanish volcano-like character.
6) For you personally, does your sex appeal (as judged by other people) have an impact on your confidence or self esteem?
Well, it always gives a nice feeling if you please someone you like, no? It makes me happy when a man or a woman gives me a sincere compliment about my sex appeal, just as I need honest remarks about my art or my personality. But it depends how it's given. So please no wandering hands, dirty whispers or hysterically horning cars in the streets for me!
7) Do you consider yourself sexy?
Oooooh... that depends totally on my mood. Yes, there are days that I find myself incredibly sexy. It often goes together with enjoyment of life. On these days I think being surrounded by only very sexy people, the food I'm eating being delicious and the weather great. Even if it rains and I'm struggling on my bike for example. I will just loooove that natural water falling so gently on my head and body, turning me right away into a number one miss wet t-shirt. On a day like that, I could easily fall of my bike and in love with the first guy that helps me getting up.
But other days I think I'm as sexy as an old wrinkled potato. I'll only notice how, after a long intense struggle, crucial parts of my body definitely have given up their fight against the universal gravity power, I'll feel tired, useless and silly. If I fall of a bike on such a day, I would just stay splashed down on the floor, and nobody would even bother to pick me up, for I'll be way too scary with a stupid bad grim on my face.
Being on stage helps a lot! I guess it's like sport: singing and playing in front of an audience provoke a lot of natural drugs in your body that make you feel amazingly good and often quite sexy after a concert. And the more gigs you do, the more you get addicted to them.
8) As an artist and a musician, where do you draw the line between sexual identity and art? Is there a line? Is it fluid?
I think one can't generalize. It depends on the art and the artist. But for me, I think it's fluid and I play with it. It's a lot of fun. My show is quite theatrical and my lyrics talk a lot about love-disasters, so it can happen that in one single song I'm acting like a really sexy girl in the beginning to become a wrinkled potato in the end. Happy coincidence, they're both part of me!
And finally, Do you consider me sexy and what would you suggest I do to make myself more media accessible?
Oh yes Devon! You are really sexy! And very funny, honest and full of phantasy. Don't change. And please don't try to make yourself more media accessible just with your sex appeal. That would be a bit reductive, wouldn't it? Wish you good luck!
Boys!
1. What does a sexy women mean/ look like/ act like to you? Feel free to describe or use a celebrity to illustrate your point.
C: A woman who is sexually confident and uninhibited. Someone who doesn't look to the crowd for what to do, doesn't worry about what other people think of her. She goes after what she wants when it come to sex and relationships. She is glamourous with a keen fashion sense and is used to being the center of attention in a room. Lady Gaga is the first celebrity to come to mind. Personally if you were to ask me what type of woman do i prefer aestetically I would say: Caucasian Eastern European women with Raven colour hair... but I've had relationships with women of a few different ethnicities and it's not that important. The important thing is that they are somewhat slender / in shape (not anywhere close to as extreme as run way models though, those women look gross) plenty of meat on the breasts and but is also very nice. Any unnatural died colour like pink is also very hot as well. I tend to prefer goth or alternative type women... I don't think my opinion of what is sexy is too far off the media as far as body type goes, all though like i said runway models who are skin and bones are disgusting and there are some women in popular culture who are a little on the too skinny side...
R: Sexy is not just looks, yes they are a part of it but not completely, its the attitude that goes with it. I've talked to chicks who have the sexy look but when they start talking they are complete bitches and loose all sex appeal. some one who is sexy is a) not a complete freak show (although bearded ladies are goddesses) b) comfortable with them selfs and shows it proudly
B: It seems more and more that I'm attracted to women with confidence. A woman who is assertive, but not pushy. As far as how a woman acts, I'm far mor appreciative of someone who can sustaine a conversation with valid and insightful opinions, rather than a good set of lady parts, a bleached mop and glowy orange peeling skin. If I were to relate my taste to a mainstream celebrity or actress, I'd say a mix of Dita Von Tease, Rosario Dawson, and liv Tyler. And maybe a little Patrick swayze for good asskicking measure.....
2. If you could pick one woman that you feel represents the media's definition of a sexy woman who would that be? Does she differ from what your representation of sexy is? Is she the same?
C: I guess Lady Gaga again comes to mind, all though some people in mainstream culture seem to think she is too weird or a slut... Those are the people who seem to be more conformist and or the moral right wingers who care more what people think. There is a spectrum of what is considered sexy in culture with room for lots of variables. To be honest Gaga is the only female in popular music who i find interesting right now, and therefore the only one I pay attention to, since I mostly don't follow mainstream culture, I follow alternative culture instead. Also I think Maddona provided a very sexually healthy, positive view of things through her art back in her day and Gaga is continueing in the same vein. The whole bubble gum Miley Cyrus / Britney Spears thing on the other hand doesn't appeal to me at all, but that is definitely one end of the popular culture... on the more conformist judgmental side. I really hate the whole dichotomy they tend to promote of on the one hand making a profit out of teasing men (their sexuality seems to be unnatural and completely geared towards marketing and making a profit) but on the other end they still put up the clean / wholesome / middle American, I'm a good Christian act. I guess there a plenty of examples on the male side too like Jonas brothers.
Some actresses that come to mind off the top of my head with regards to sex appeal: would be Anjelina Jolie, Kate Beckisale, Rose Mcgowan...
R: Definitely Zoey Deschanel is sexy. She's hot as hell and fine with being herself and doing her own thing her way.
B:This subject is terribly touchy for me, as I feel my taste in women in popular culture, or" mainstream" is way off. I feel I'm a man of oldskool values. I love old cars, bikes, tattoos, and a good cigar. So you can keep you sickly thin skinrack models dressed in chrome lampshades ripping lines of coke off the spoiler of a lambo. The bejeweled Ed hardy sporting trucker hat broads that seem to go out of their way to play stupid, in hopes of finding someone to buy them drinks all night till they puke, make me want to skin myself alive then be set on fire. What the he'll ever happened to self worth? However I digress.... Basically immore attracted to a woman with curves. Dark long hair, beautiful eyes and a smile that could make cherubs hard..... If they had the parts for it of course. That "real" woman. Mainstream culture is soo far off from real these days, I can't bring myself to read a magazine, watch tv, or even browse the newspaper without finding myself let down.
3. Do you feel that there is an unfair representation of men in the media? Do you feel like the standards are impossible? Do you feel that women's standards are impossible?
C: That's a tough question, because i could go in so many different directions talking about men in the media...
I don't think a man should ever have to apologize or feel guilty for wanting sex & being interested in sex but i still feel that there are a lot of mixed messages coming from the media on the subject. I also feel like there is a message being given to guys that a guy should always wait to have sex out of respect for the woman & that women aren't as interested in having sex as guys and need to build comfort and trust over time excreta. A women is a perfect pure flower and put on a pedestal and a man is a dog basically.... You're supposed to be nice, buy gifts, take her to expensive dinners and that's how you get a woman interested in sex eventually... That's all bullshit... everyone is different. If two people are in a relationship and both want to wait thats fine, but what if the woman really does want to have sex right away, but a man is caught up with all this negative programming he's been fed from culture saying he has to wait... In that case the man is actually doing a huge dis-service to the woman my mind. If two mature people are attracted to each other, than why wait? I also hate the stereotype that a man who has a lot of sex partners is praised for it in our culture and women get called names like slut whore etc... that's why I'll never use those word in a derogatory way. I think if a woman wants to have a lot of sex partners and that's who she is that's great & she should be praised for being uninhibited.
I think men are often demonized for being men in popular culture when it comes to all of the sex scandels that go on... They are expected to apologize for things that happen in their personal lives that have nothing to do with anyone else except for the people involved. Like with Tiger Woods or any of the other politicians... who are we to judge whether what they did i right or wrong, we don't know all of the details, and even if we did everyone sets a different moral standard for themselves. personally i don't see a moral problem with having multiple lovers the only thing i would never do is be dishonest with someone i care about who is personally involved.
And lastly I have also come to realize more and more as i grow up that in our culture a woman's worth tends to be judged more on her physical beauty & men's worth is judged most on his wealth, job, accomplishments, & personality. Looks are still somewhat important on guys, they need to take care of what they do have(as in grooming), but still if they are strong in all of these other areas they can have average looks and still have a very high sexual worth... but for a woman it's the opposite, her looks are most important & the other areas (wealth/job/accomplishments/personality...) are still somewhat important but secondary to her looks. This is not really simply a problem of the media since there are good biological reasons to explain this and i'm not saying it's necessarily wrong either because then you would have to say human nature is wrong...the media just re-enforces it. Basically for a woman the good looks automatically equal money/worth(because it garauntees that she will be provided for by a man / men) but a man has to demonstrate it through accomplishments / status / confident personality. Look at a rap video where the guy has good chains and a nice car and beautiful women all around him for an obvious example. I guess as a man i feel like i am always being driven to try and accomplish things and be out going personality wise in order to increase sexual worth, which can have many positive results, but it can also be very tiring and depressing sometimes as it can feel like it's never good enough and yet beautiful women are basically handed everything based on their looks.(not saying that looking good doesn't take effort though, it does, as you are no doubt learning, just in a different way)
R: the media has set high standards for both sexes, that the perfect man is a rich, model looking man who makes the world a better place as a job, who is a mans man but completely in touch with his feelings. While the perfect woman is an absolute 10 while being down to earth, either the perfect house wife or the business class executive and looks runway ready at any given moment.
B: Standards seem to vary in culture. Women seem to have all this pressure to look, act, and treat other women a certain way. I'd have to say as Terrible as it sounds, women can act like sharks/ you get a bunch in confined quarters, toss a few drops of blood in there and it's a frenzy. This isn't always the case, I've seen women capable of maintaining amazing freindships. But culture seems to tell us that life is a competition, and both men and women should cheat, steal, and stab to get ahead. It's unfortunate really. Men inpart are in a very similiar boat. We are supposed to be square jawed, chisseled, hairless manboys. Unless you deal drugs and can affordto spend hours a day preening, it's just not realistic. What ever happened to bodyhair? When did society decide that we as men are supposed to maintain an impossible physique, wear purses, and have ridiculous thin "goatees" I appologize if you fit this description, I'm sure you've got a great personality..... I happen to love red meat. Real beer. Loud fast cars. And I'm not afraid to do my own oilchanges. Regardless of what culture tells me.
4. If you are comfortable doing so (and no I wont be offended no matter what your answer is so please be honest) could you rate me on a scale of sexiness between 1- 10, 10 being Goddess like stature of sexiness and 1 being your great grandmother. Rate me for your opinion, and then what you think the media presents as sexy if they differ.
C: i don't like that idea because no matter what i say there will probably be some part of you that will resent me for it... so I'm going to pass.
R: i highly doubt that you wouldn't be offended if i gave you a 1, but i think your around an 8 maybe a nine if you were in lingerie.
B:Rating my opinion of your attractiveness is easy and very difficult at the same time. Over time, and getting to know you, my opinion has changed. Not much, but I've had the pleasure of spending hours laughing and making ridiculous inside jokes about my misfortune, and the possible six kids I'll be fathering? Anyway if I must put a number to the question, I would say 7. You tall, terribly curvy, you hold yourself well, and you can hold your own In any facet of conversation. These are all attributes I respect greatly.however, your not 96 pounds, Terribly dumb, or high on painkillers and appetite supressors, so as far as what's "cultural" both you and I are outta the loop. Regardless, your sexy, and terribly funny.
Sanne Lambert:
Next week, we will tackle makeup and its application, and skin care!
Lazy D
Yeti!
.jpg)
1) For those who don't know of you, could you give a brief biography.
What? Not everybody knows of me yet?
OK there we go...
I was doing serious studies to become a graphic designer in Holland, when I found an old accordion, covered with dust in some hidden corner of a second hand shop in Prague. I took it home, mostly for its flowered bellow and its woodcraft, but when I tried to play it, I discovered a beautiful melancholic sound and very soon I started to like typing on its pearl keyboard much more than on the plastic computer one.
My artschool certificate ended up in the paper-bin, I packed my bags and travelled with my squeeze box to the south of France, got seduced by its weather, the nature, the lovely villages and a man living in a charming town called Montpellier. The man disappeared, but Montpellier stayed. So did I.
I learned more or less how to speak French and used to sing and play the accordion in the streets.
Months turned into years, the streets made place for real stages where I met other like-minded musiciens and in 2000 I started my band Yeti ( www.myspace.com/yetila ). Yeti is the French homonym of my real Dutch name Jetty.
First covering old French songs and then creating my own (in French, s'il vous plaît!), I've been playing solo or with the band in festivals and clubs all over Europe and Quebec and recorded 2 CDs.
2) What is your definition of sexy?
A contagious state of feeling nice and beautiful in your body. I find someone sexy when he or she makes me feel sexy. But careful! Someone can be really sexy on a picture but looking like a rusty nail in real. Or having a very harsh high-pitched voice or a dusty smell that destroys everything. And if someone who's not sexy but who tries to act like, it's mostly tragi-comical.
3) Coming from Europe, do you notice a difference in what is considered sexy in France versus what is considered sexy in North America?
Even within Europe (just like in North America), every country, every region has differences in what is considered sexy already! Fashions are different, just like cultures, religions, eating traditions and backgrounds. For my example, being a Dutch woman of average height means being some sort of giant in the South of France. I don't think that a lot of Mediterranean men are able to find a giant girl called Yeti sexy...
But for sure, as soon you switch on TV, one might think that all sexy-considered women are twin sisters, no matter if they are American, Polish or French. These are sisters from The Big Skeleton Family, stuffed with hormones to maintain their big tits. We might be able to distinguish the American by their tendency to exaggerate their body-sculpting in fitness centers and the portions of botox that make their faces even more expressionless. But can we generalize cultures by watching TV? I don't think so. I hope not, anyway.
4) Do you feel that there are impossible or unreasonable beauty standards places upon French women, American women?
Of course! I mentioned already the ridiculous no-weight and zero-wrinkle-standards, you mentioned them as well in your blog, everybody knows about them, we all think it's bad and stupid and still the world seems to adore naked bones smoothened up by tons of make-up and Photoshop-effects... Real nature seems to scare. And unfortunately there are still a lot of women who think that one needs to follow these strict beauty-rules in order to be actually beautiful and sexy.
5) If you could pick a celebrity to define the media's or society as whole's representation of what is sexy, who would you pick?
Penelope Cruz. We're seeing her a little too much these days (at least in Europe), even in commercials and big-audience movies and I think that's a shame, but she remains for me a real sex bomb, a great actress, with an incredible spanish volcano-like character.
6) For you personally, does your sex appeal (as judged by other people) have an impact on your confidence or self esteem?
Well, it always gives a nice feeling if you please someone you like, no? It makes me happy when a man or a woman gives me a sincere compliment about my sex appeal, just as I need honest remarks about my art or my personality. But it depends how it's given. So please no wandering hands, dirty whispers or hysterically horning cars in the streets for me!
7) Do you consider yourself sexy?
Oooooh... that depends totally on my mood. Yes, there are days that I find myself incredibly sexy. It often goes together with enjoyment of life. On these days I think being surrounded by only very sexy people, the food I'm eating being delicious and the weather great. Even if it rains and I'm struggling on my bike for example. I will just loooove that natural water falling so gently on my head and body, turning me right away into a number one miss wet t-shirt. On a day like that, I could easily fall of my bike and in love with the first guy that helps me getting up.
But other days I think I'm as sexy as an old wrinkled potato. I'll only notice how, after a long intense struggle, crucial parts of my body definitely have given up their fight against the universal gravity power, I'll feel tired, useless and silly. If I fall of a bike on such a day, I would just stay splashed down on the floor, and nobody would even bother to pick me up, for I'll be way too scary with a stupid bad grim on my face.
Being on stage helps a lot! I guess it's like sport: singing and playing in front of an audience provoke a lot of natural drugs in your body that make you feel amazingly good and often quite sexy after a concert. And the more gigs you do, the more you get addicted to them.
8) As an artist and a musician, where do you draw the line between sexual identity and art? Is there a line? Is it fluid?
I think one can't generalize. It depends on the art and the artist. But for me, I think it's fluid and I play with it. It's a lot of fun. My show is quite theatrical and my lyrics talk a lot about love-disasters, so it can happen that in one single song I'm acting like a really sexy girl in the beginning to become a wrinkled potato in the end. Happy coincidence, they're both part of me!
And finally, Do you consider me sexy and what would you suggest I do to make myself more media accessible?
Oh yes Devon! You are really sexy! And very funny, honest and full of phantasy. Don't change. And please don't try to make yourself more media accessible just with your sex appeal. That would be a bit reductive, wouldn't it? Wish you good luck!
Boys!
1. What does a sexy women mean/ look like/ act like to you? Feel free to describe or use a celebrity to illustrate your point.
C: A woman who is sexually confident and uninhibited. Someone who doesn't look to the crowd for what to do, doesn't worry about what other people think of her. She goes after what she wants when it come to sex and relationships. She is glamourous with a keen fashion sense and is used to being the center of attention in a room. Lady Gaga is the first celebrity to come to mind. Personally if you were to ask me what type of woman do i prefer aestetically I would say: Caucasian Eastern European women with Raven colour hair... but I've had relationships with women of a few different ethnicities and it's not that important. The important thing is that they are somewhat slender / in shape (not anywhere close to as extreme as run way models though, those women look gross) plenty of meat on the breasts and but is also very nice. Any unnatural died colour like pink is also very hot as well. I tend to prefer goth or alternative type women... I don't think my opinion of what is sexy is too far off the media as far as body type goes, all though like i said runway models who are skin and bones are disgusting and there are some women in popular culture who are a little on the too skinny side...
R: Sexy is not just looks, yes they are a part of it but not completely, its the attitude that goes with it. I've talked to chicks who have the sexy look but when they start talking they are complete bitches and loose all sex appeal. some one who is sexy is a) not a complete freak show (although bearded ladies are goddesses) b) comfortable with them selfs and shows it proudly
B: It seems more and more that I'm attracted to women with confidence. A woman who is assertive, but not pushy. As far as how a woman acts, I'm far mor appreciative of someone who can sustaine a conversation with valid and insightful opinions, rather than a good set of lady parts, a bleached mop and glowy orange peeling skin. If I were to relate my taste to a mainstream celebrity or actress, I'd say a mix of Dita Von Tease, Rosario Dawson, and liv Tyler. And maybe a little Patrick swayze for good asskicking measure.....
2. If you could pick one woman that you feel represents the media's definition of a sexy woman who would that be? Does she differ from what your representation of sexy is? Is she the same?
C: I guess Lady Gaga again comes to mind, all though some people in mainstream culture seem to think she is too weird or a slut... Those are the people who seem to be more conformist and or the moral right wingers who care more what people think. There is a spectrum of what is considered sexy in culture with room for lots of variables. To be honest Gaga is the only female in popular music who i find interesting right now, and therefore the only one I pay attention to, since I mostly don't follow mainstream culture, I follow alternative culture instead. Also I think Maddona provided a very sexually healthy, positive view of things through her art back in her day and Gaga is continueing in the same vein. The whole bubble gum Miley Cyrus / Britney Spears thing on the other hand doesn't appeal to me at all, but that is definitely one end of the popular culture... on the more conformist judgmental side. I really hate the whole dichotomy they tend to promote of on the one hand making a profit out of teasing men (their sexuality seems to be unnatural and completely geared towards marketing and making a profit) but on the other end they still put up the clean / wholesome / middle American, I'm a good Christian act. I guess there a plenty of examples on the male side too like Jonas brothers.
Some actresses that come to mind off the top of my head with regards to sex appeal: would be Anjelina Jolie, Kate Beckisale, Rose Mcgowan...
R: Definitely Zoey Deschanel is sexy. She's hot as hell and fine with being herself and doing her own thing her way.
B:This subject is terribly touchy for me, as I feel my taste in women in popular culture, or" mainstream" is way off. I feel I'm a man of oldskool values. I love old cars, bikes, tattoos, and a good cigar. So you can keep you sickly thin skinrack models dressed in chrome lampshades ripping lines of coke off the spoiler of a lambo. The bejeweled Ed hardy sporting trucker hat broads that seem to go out of their way to play stupid, in hopes of finding someone to buy them drinks all night till they puke, make me want to skin myself alive then be set on fire. What the he'll ever happened to self worth? However I digress.... Basically immore attracted to a woman with curves. Dark long hair, beautiful eyes and a smile that could make cherubs hard..... If they had the parts for it of course. That "real" woman. Mainstream culture is soo far off from real these days, I can't bring myself to read a magazine, watch tv, or even browse the newspaper without finding myself let down.
3. Do you feel that there is an unfair representation of men in the media? Do you feel like the standards are impossible? Do you feel that women's standards are impossible?
C: That's a tough question, because i could go in so many different directions talking about men in the media...
I don't think a man should ever have to apologize or feel guilty for wanting sex & being interested in sex but i still feel that there are a lot of mixed messages coming from the media on the subject. I also feel like there is a message being given to guys that a guy should always wait to have sex out of respect for the woman & that women aren't as interested in having sex as guys and need to build comfort and trust over time excreta. A women is a perfect pure flower and put on a pedestal and a man is a dog basically.... You're supposed to be nice, buy gifts, take her to expensive dinners and that's how you get a woman interested in sex eventually... That's all bullshit... everyone is different. If two people are in a relationship and both want to wait thats fine, but what if the woman really does want to have sex right away, but a man is caught up with all this negative programming he's been fed from culture saying he has to wait... In that case the man is actually doing a huge dis-service to the woman my mind. If two mature people are attracted to each other, than why wait? I also hate the stereotype that a man who has a lot of sex partners is praised for it in our culture and women get called names like slut whore etc... that's why I'll never use those word in a derogatory way. I think if a woman wants to have a lot of sex partners and that's who she is that's great & she should be praised for being uninhibited.
I think men are often demonized for being men in popular culture when it comes to all of the sex scandels that go on... They are expected to apologize for things that happen in their personal lives that have nothing to do with anyone else except for the people involved. Like with Tiger Woods or any of the other politicians... who are we to judge whether what they did i right or wrong, we don't know all of the details, and even if we did everyone sets a different moral standard for themselves. personally i don't see a moral problem with having multiple lovers the only thing i would never do is be dishonest with someone i care about who is personally involved.
And lastly I have also come to realize more and more as i grow up that in our culture a woman's worth tends to be judged more on her physical beauty & men's worth is judged most on his wealth, job, accomplishments, & personality. Looks are still somewhat important on guys, they need to take care of what they do have(as in grooming), but still if they are strong in all of these other areas they can have average looks and still have a very high sexual worth... but for a woman it's the opposite, her looks are most important & the other areas (wealth/job/accomplishments/personality...) are still somewhat important but secondary to her looks. This is not really simply a problem of the media since there are good biological reasons to explain this and i'm not saying it's necessarily wrong either because then you would have to say human nature is wrong...the media just re-enforces it. Basically for a woman the good looks automatically equal money/worth(because it garauntees that she will be provided for by a man / men) but a man has to demonstrate it through accomplishments / status / confident personality. Look at a rap video where the guy has good chains and a nice car and beautiful women all around him for an obvious example. I guess as a man i feel like i am always being driven to try and accomplish things and be out going personality wise in order to increase sexual worth, which can have many positive results, but it can also be very tiring and depressing sometimes as it can feel like it's never good enough and yet beautiful women are basically handed everything based on their looks.(not saying that looking good doesn't take effort though, it does, as you are no doubt learning, just in a different way)
R: the media has set high standards for both sexes, that the perfect man is a rich, model looking man who makes the world a better place as a job, who is a mans man but completely in touch with his feelings. While the perfect woman is an absolute 10 while being down to earth, either the perfect house wife or the business class executive and looks runway ready at any given moment.
B: Standards seem to vary in culture. Women seem to have all this pressure to look, act, and treat other women a certain way. I'd have to say as Terrible as it sounds, women can act like sharks/ you get a bunch in confined quarters, toss a few drops of blood in there and it's a frenzy. This isn't always the case, I've seen women capable of maintaining amazing freindships. But culture seems to tell us that life is a competition, and both men and women should cheat, steal, and stab to get ahead. It's unfortunate really. Men inpart are in a very similiar boat. We are supposed to be square jawed, chisseled, hairless manboys. Unless you deal drugs and can affordto spend hours a day preening, it's just not realistic. What ever happened to bodyhair? When did society decide that we as men are supposed to maintain an impossible physique, wear purses, and have ridiculous thin "goatees" I appologize if you fit this description, I'm sure you've got a great personality..... I happen to love red meat. Real beer. Loud fast cars. And I'm not afraid to do my own oilchanges. Regardless of what culture tells me.
4. If you are comfortable doing so (and no I wont be offended no matter what your answer is so please be honest) could you rate me on a scale of sexiness between 1- 10, 10 being Goddess like stature of sexiness and 1 being your great grandmother. Rate me for your opinion, and then what you think the media presents as sexy if they differ.
C: i don't like that idea because no matter what i say there will probably be some part of you that will resent me for it... so I'm going to pass.
R: i highly doubt that you wouldn't be offended if i gave you a 1, but i think your around an 8 maybe a nine if you were in lingerie.
B:Rating my opinion of your attractiveness is easy and very difficult at the same time. Over time, and getting to know you, my opinion has changed. Not much, but I've had the pleasure of spending hours laughing and making ridiculous inside jokes about my misfortune, and the possible six kids I'll be fathering? Anyway if I must put a number to the question, I would say 7. You tall, terribly curvy, you hold yourself well, and you can hold your own In any facet of conversation. These are all attributes I respect greatly.however, your not 96 pounds, Terribly dumb, or high on painkillers and appetite supressors, so as far as what's "cultural" both you and I are outta the loop. Regardless, your sexy, and terribly funny.
Sanne Lambert:
Next week, we will tackle makeup and its application, and skin care!
Lazy D
Monday, March 8, 2010
Fashion!
So I’m a day late with the blog post. Let me give you my lame excuses for this. One I was hoping to do an interview with a Vancouver designer and I didn’t get it done in time which was totally my fault. It wasn’t until today that I realised I can just post it when I have it done. Two, my editor is going out of town for a while to professionally shoot kids in the face (paintball) and I wanted to get some extra editing in before he leaves. Three, it was the mother fucking Oscars last night and that may as well be a religious holiday for me.
Speaking of which didn’t all the starlets (with the exception of Sarah Jessica Parker who opted to wear a sheet) look lovely. It must be nice to have boat loads of money and pay a team to make you look fabulous. How are normal people suppose to keep up? Well I have compiled of list to help you make fashion work for you:
• Wear clothing that fits you. Whatever your style is your should avoid things that are too big or too small. How do you determine whether or not your clothing fit? Well here’s a hint, if it leaves red marks on your skin, you have to undo your pants to sit down, or the parts of you not covered in clothe bulge out, then it’s too small. If you can fit another person, a pillow, or your cat in any article of clothing, it’s too big. Seriously though, too big or too small makes you look bigger than you are. Too tight clothing = sausage, too loose hides your assets (ie, tits and ass). Go to a store that is a little on the posh side or that is a small business ( I say that only because you’re typical mall store is full of employees who don’t really care whether you buy or not) and let the sales person show you what size you actually are.
• Dress for the situation. You shouldn’t wear jeans to the opera and ball gowns aren’t appropriate for the grocery store. Think about where you’re going and plan your outfit accordingly. Gym strip is meant for the gym. Pajama bottoms are meant for the trip from your bathroom to your bed and vice versa after consuming a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. Lingerie is for seducing your lover or going to a fetish club.
• When in doubt dress up. Consider the event, but always air on the side of looking more dressy than less dressy. It shows whoever you’re seeing that you care enough about them to make an effort. Non skanky, non jean skirts will class up any outfit. Non jeans, sweat pants, yoga pants (yes this includes Lulu Lemon) also do the trick. Avoid oversized t-shirts, hoodies, and running shoes (tennis shoes or chucks are okay in my books when accessorized properly). While you’re at it wipe off last night’s electric blue eye shadow, run a comb through your hair, and brush your teeth.
• Be comfortable and weather appropriate. Comfort is easy to do, yes I just said dress up but if you chose clothing that fit you and aren’t from the Lady Gaga collection, you should be okay. Personally, I find corsets to be more comfortable than wearing a bra, but that’s just me. As for weather appropriate, nothing kills the mood of an outfit quicker than blue lips and hypothermia or sweating like a pig. Yes your brand new slutty party dress is killer but its minus 5, put a fucking jacket on, you stupid, stupid girl.
• Accent the parts of you, you like most. And in the same vein, diminish the parts you don’t like. This comes back to comfort. You may look fabulous but it that outfit is showing off your ass and you think you have ghetto booty (in a bad way, I personally love the junk in my trunk) then you’ll never wear it with confidence and it will therefore never look as good as it could. For example I love my breasts, my ass, my calves, and my collar bones but I’m not crazy about my thighs and I’m aware that my arms are not toned. My perfect outfit is a corset with a just above the knee crinoline skirt, vertical stripped stockings, heals, and a pair of sleeves or a shrug. It’s true that my ass isn’t getting showed off but the rest meets the criteria. Breast, calves, and collar bones are being highlighted (so is my ass if I bend over…) but my thighs and arms are camouflaged. I could walk into any room confidently (chances are I’d even table dance) because the clothes are amplifying my fabulousness!
• Have a signature piece. Go to a local business that makes their own clothing and get a piece that represents you. Let it be supremely yours. Wear it to special events. Feel special in it.
As far as this relates to the project, the media doesn’t really present men as like a particular style over other styles (except they seem to really like white wife beaters with jeans). So as long as you follow my suggestions, I say go for whatever style that tickles your fancy, with moderation. Don’t become a stereotype, mix your personality into it. Whether you’re partial to goth, indie, or douche bag (Ed Hardy) don’t let it define who you are, instead bend the style to fit your needs. My style has been called “alternative,” “burlesque,” “goth on the day off,” “hippie,” and a plethora of other things. I like corsets and skirts and my doc so that’s what I wear, the end. Anyways, here’s some pictures of my favorite outfits:
And my absolute favorite outfit of them all:
Next week, I’m taking a break. I’m overwhelmed with school work at the moment and I need to step back and refocus myself. And breathe. Does anyone else out there do yoga and laugh when the instructor says “remember to breathe” only to realize that you’ve totally forgotten to inhale/ exhale? It happens to me all the time. I will, however, be posting that video interview. And any other interviews I can pull out of my ass in the next week.
Roar.
La D
Speaking of which didn’t all the starlets (with the exception of Sarah Jessica Parker who opted to wear a sheet) look lovely. It must be nice to have boat loads of money and pay a team to make you look fabulous. How are normal people suppose to keep up? Well I have compiled of list to help you make fashion work for you:
• Wear clothing that fits you. Whatever your style is your should avoid things that are too big or too small. How do you determine whether or not your clothing fit? Well here’s a hint, if it leaves red marks on your skin, you have to undo your pants to sit down, or the parts of you not covered in clothe bulge out, then it’s too small. If you can fit another person, a pillow, or your cat in any article of clothing, it’s too big. Seriously though, too big or too small makes you look bigger than you are. Too tight clothing = sausage, too loose hides your assets (ie, tits and ass). Go to a store that is a little on the posh side or that is a small business ( I say that only because you’re typical mall store is full of employees who don’t really care whether you buy or not) and let the sales person show you what size you actually are.
• Dress for the situation. You shouldn’t wear jeans to the opera and ball gowns aren’t appropriate for the grocery store. Think about where you’re going and plan your outfit accordingly. Gym strip is meant for the gym. Pajama bottoms are meant for the trip from your bathroom to your bed and vice versa after consuming a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. Lingerie is for seducing your lover or going to a fetish club.
• When in doubt dress up. Consider the event, but always air on the side of looking more dressy than less dressy. It shows whoever you’re seeing that you care enough about them to make an effort. Non skanky, non jean skirts will class up any outfit. Non jeans, sweat pants, yoga pants (yes this includes Lulu Lemon) also do the trick. Avoid oversized t-shirts, hoodies, and running shoes (tennis shoes or chucks are okay in my books when accessorized properly). While you’re at it wipe off last night’s electric blue eye shadow, run a comb through your hair, and brush your teeth.
• Be comfortable and weather appropriate. Comfort is easy to do, yes I just said dress up but if you chose clothing that fit you and aren’t from the Lady Gaga collection, you should be okay. Personally, I find corsets to be more comfortable than wearing a bra, but that’s just me. As for weather appropriate, nothing kills the mood of an outfit quicker than blue lips and hypothermia or sweating like a pig. Yes your brand new slutty party dress is killer but its minus 5, put a fucking jacket on, you stupid, stupid girl.
• Accent the parts of you, you like most. And in the same vein, diminish the parts you don’t like. This comes back to comfort. You may look fabulous but it that outfit is showing off your ass and you think you have ghetto booty (in a bad way, I personally love the junk in my trunk) then you’ll never wear it with confidence and it will therefore never look as good as it could. For example I love my breasts, my ass, my calves, and my collar bones but I’m not crazy about my thighs and I’m aware that my arms are not toned. My perfect outfit is a corset with a just above the knee crinoline skirt, vertical stripped stockings, heals, and a pair of sleeves or a shrug. It’s true that my ass isn’t getting showed off but the rest meets the criteria. Breast, calves, and collar bones are being highlighted (so is my ass if I bend over…) but my thighs and arms are camouflaged. I could walk into any room confidently (chances are I’d even table dance) because the clothes are amplifying my fabulousness!
• Have a signature piece. Go to a local business that makes their own clothing and get a piece that represents you. Let it be supremely yours. Wear it to special events. Feel special in it.
As far as this relates to the project, the media doesn’t really present men as like a particular style over other styles (except they seem to really like white wife beaters with jeans). So as long as you follow my suggestions, I say go for whatever style that tickles your fancy, with moderation. Don’t become a stereotype, mix your personality into it. Whether you’re partial to goth, indie, or douche bag (Ed Hardy) don’t let it define who you are, instead bend the style to fit your needs. My style has been called “alternative,” “burlesque,” “goth on the day off,” “hippie,” and a plethora of other things. I like corsets and skirts and my doc so that’s what I wear, the end. Anyways, here’s some pictures of my favorite outfits:
And my absolute favorite outfit of them all:
Next week, I’m taking a break. I’m overwhelmed with school work at the moment and I need to step back and refocus myself. And breathe. Does anyone else out there do yoga and laugh when the instructor says “remember to breathe” only to realize that you’ve totally forgotten to inhale/ exhale? It happens to me all the time. I will, however, be posting that video interview. And any other interviews I can pull out of my ass in the next week.
Roar.
La D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
