lip gloss

This has been a difficult blog for me to write. I’ve re-written it a few times. It is supposed to be about what the media presents as non-physical traits that are attractive in women to heterosexual men. Maybe that’s part of the issue, I had trouble formulating what I was even trying to make the blog about. The following list are other reasons things went south and I couldn’t just write it:
• Before my first posting I was pretty sure that the media presented men as traditionally male interests (like sports, beer, cars, and power tools). I was wrong. It took me by surprise because I had already started planning other blogs around this and now that’s out the window. Silly Devon for not researching first.
• I’ve had Britney Spears 3 suck in my head since for a week and a day.
• I’ve been dieting. And I’ve been in a really stressful week at school and I’m an emotional eater. So I haven’t been able to stuff my face with cookies to get rid of the stress of school. And then I feel guilty about wanting to stuff my face with cookies which makes me more stressed out. This is why I don’t normally diet.
• I haven’t had a day off (between work and school) since Christmas Day and I think I’m starting to burn out a little bit.
• My editor is out of town and basically unreachable due to shooting kids in the face (paintball).
• I feel sexiest writing what I’d like to write.
• I started to question how accurate my research is. I’m still an undergrad. I’m not backing up my work with credible sources. Most / all of what I have to say comes from the internet or what I have observed. People know not to take this too seriously right? But it is serious to me. Its helping me have shape to my life and keeping me from watching three seasons of LOST back to back to back.
• I can’t drink on anti-depressants and this week I really wanted a glass of wine.

So those are the reasons I couldn’t write my blog this week. Now that’s out of the way. It’s time to stop whining and fucking write it.
For the sake of this blog, let it be known that when I refer to men, I’m referring to men the way the media presents them, same goes for women and both of the heterosexual persuasion.
So I Goggled. And I found lists and lists and lists of what men found attractive about women. I watched commercials. I watched movies. I listened to pop music and non-pop music. The most astonishing thing I found was that women and men disagree about what men find attractive about women.
So ladies first. Women in forms of media that are directed towards women are often portrayed as being nice, neighbourly, sweet, big hearted, nurturing, and a little quirky. I think this is because (as far as I can tell) women get sold things by having the seller relate to them. The woman on TV says “I’m just like you, sweet heart. I am quiet and quirky. I wear jeans. I want X but I always lose out to that Vapid Slut with big boobs. Take my hand, we’ll make you over into a better you, you enhance. Then you’ll have X and you’ll be better that Vapid Slut because you’re sweet on the inside like me and you have real true beauty that Vapid will never have.” Of course, the enhancer is whatever they’re trying to sell. This is also a common sub-plot to any main stream romantic comedy. Yes guy meets girl and then something happens that they can’t be together and then they get together but the makeover is usually happening somewhere in the back ground.
The media tends to divide women into four main categories. One is the sweet and lovely girl next door, which as I just mention is what women think men want. The next is the buddy girl. She’s one of the boy’s. She plays football and watches sports, fixes your car, and drinks beer. This is what I thought men would like and in the real world, I think a lot of men do but in the land of media she is just another boy. The next is generic older woman. She is either a mom, or a MILF, or an angry neighbour, or an aunt with lip stick on her teeth. She’s there, that’s her only purpose. And then of course, there’s the woman women hate: The Vapid Slut with big boobs. This is the type of woman the media says men want.
I feel like a terrible person for saying it. Because I know that men aren’t like that and don’t like that or at least the men I hang around with but every Axe, beer, razor, and car commercial would disagree with me. Pop culture states men like Vapid Slut because men only care about sex and Vapid Slut is easy. That’s why nice girls hate her. And I’m focusing on what men want not what women think men should want.
Which brings me to the two most common things I found on the lists of sexiness. One is confidence (which makes sense, what good is a hot girl if she won’t make eye contact or talk to you), the other is the embodiment of SEX.
Confidence is fairly straight forward. Its listed as confidence. The embodiment of SEX though was a little more difficult to figure out. It came from the accumulation of many things and then it hit me that, yes some are yellow, some are blue, and some are red but they’re all M&Ms. Each list would have confidence listed and the then the rest of the list would be things like ‘the way she drunk dances with her girlfriends,’ ‘when she suggests watching a dirty movie,’ ‘panty lines,’ and my personal favourite ‘watching her put on lip gloss.’ [A side note, around May, Amanda Palmer did a twit pic compilation of her putting on makeup like a rock star. When it came to lip gloss, she said apply lip gloss for that “ready to blow” look. Anytime I put on lip gloss or see someone else put on lip gloss, I giggle. I think I may have to make a youtube video complete with a Britney Spears sound tract of me putting on lip gloss, preferably in slow motion]. All are indicators of girls who want to have sex so I just mashed them up into one neat category. Let’s face 15 million micro blogs saying:
Men like women who wear lip gloss. I bought lip gloss and put it on.
Won’t be as interesting as one or two longer blogs in which I can cover a lot of ground and tell hilarious antidotes... well hilarious to me at least.
So next Monday will be the first Monday of the month therefore I will be giving you an update on my weight lose progress and the frustrations that go along with dieting and trying to find the time to exercise. But the following Monday will be all about how to be confident and then the next two Mondays will be a two-parter all about SEX! Yay!
Looking forward to blogging about fucking and slutting it up.
Devon
http://twitter.com/littledevongirl