Skin Deep

I love Feminist theory. I bought five of Judith Butler's books after reading a paragraph she wrote. I've taken my Women's Studies 101. I love the Guerrilla Girls. I used to shave my head and not wear make up.

Anyways, one day I woke up and said FUCK IT. I want to be hot and sexy and have millions of boys (and some girls) hang posters of me on their walls. And then I thought, I should blog about it because everyone will want to hear about this transformation and I'm so interesting and narcissistic...

Well that's not totally accurate but I have decided to dedicate (as much as I can dedicate as a full time student and almost full time worker) 6 months of my life to transforming myself into the media constructed image of what a sexy heterosexual woman should look and act like.

Why, you maybe wondering, would you ever want to do that? Do you hate women? Are you trying to set feminism back 2 billion years? Are you really that desperate to get laid? No I don't hate women. No, I am not trying to set Feminism back 2 billion years, but I think it would be pretty complimentary if my little blog managed to do that. And no, I am not trying to do this to get laid, although that would definitely be a plus. The following is what made me decide to pursue this crazy and possibly sadistic project (in no particular order. Some are rather personal):

-New Years Resolution. On December 30th 2009, I decided I needed a new years resolution. So I googled 'what makes women happy'. The results were overwhelmingly to do with relationships and sex, specifically those of a heterosexual nature. Maybe gay women are already happy and don't need Google for advice? It made me start to think about how women are often portrayed in the media as not happy or complete if they are single. And that more frequently than not the way to being not single is only a make over away.

-Curiosity. I want to know if all that crap about girl power and taking control of my sexuality is true. I want to know if Lady Gaga running around in no pants, Britney and Miley pole dancing and, Katy Parry kissing girls and liking it makes them better more complete people than the pants wearing librarian with a stamp collection.

-Make Over Shows and Surgery. People spend a lot of time, energy, and money to make themselves look good. People also spend a lot of time watching people try to look good. Why?

- Megan Fox. There's no denying that women have long been an object of sexual desire in film, television, magazines, and adds. I would even go so far as to suggest that sexy women are the backbone of the selling anything in the Western World. Megan Fox's main purpose in Transformers was to be hot. This baffles me to no end.

-The need to rebel. The pop culture feminist point of view states that the over sexualized image of women renders them powerless. That it objectifies us. No one ever really questions this.

-The Internet. I am in awe and complete wonder if how much the Internet shrinks the world. Someone in Iceland could read this and message me about it with minimal effort. This intrigues me. Do people in Iceland ever think about this?

-Writing. I want to be paid for writing. I love to write. I "head write" all the time, very little of this ends up on paper or on screen. Even if no one ever reads this at least I'm writing in a place where people could potentially read it. This makes me happy.

-Control. I am currently taking anti-depressants. I think I have been depressed for a while but two rather traumatic (and unrelated) events last spring had set me in a downward spiral and in the end, I couldn't really function without them anymore. I am chemically unbalanced. That's okay. But if happiness lies in size four jeans, I'd like to know. And if it doesn't then at least I wont wonder anymore.

All of these reasons have lead me to the question:

Could personal fulfillment, happiness, and purpose actually be skin deep?

I will be posting Blogs every Monday so that if you so choose to, you can follow me on this journey of self discovery or stupidity.

Also if you would like to, you can listen to me screaming vapid nothingness into the void of the interwebz on twitter at http://twitter.com/littledevongirl

Next week, I will be looking at Askmen.com's top ten sexiest women of 2009. I will be looking for commonalities between the lovely ladies so that I have a place to start. I will also make a list of my top ten sexiest women and compare and contrast.

I predict that they will be very different lists.

Oh and in case you were wondering. I'm Devon. I'm (almost) 25 years old. I'm female. I live in BC. And now, I have a blog.