Devon: What does ‘sexy’ mean to you?
Chantel: To me, sexy means confidence
D Do you consider yourself sexy?
C Sometimes I consider myself sexy.. I'm working on it
D If you had to pick one woman who embodies sex appeal for you, who would that be? Why?
C Sex appeal... hmmm Well, my first thought is Angelina Jolie. I think she is incredibly sexy and hot. I love the humanitarian work she does. I also find Sofía Vergara very sexy. I love how curvy her body is.
D On a scale of 1-10 how important is it for women to identify with ‘sexy’?
C I think this depends on the individual. I myself think it's important for me, and to me... but I appreciate that for other women, it's not even on their radar to feel sexy, and they are not lacking b/c of it
D Does your definition of ‘sexy’ differ from the media’s representation?
C Yes, what I find sexy is not what is generally represented in the media. Although, the media is really a big part of our attitudes and beliefs even if we don't realize it. But, I myself do not find the 'hollywood' version of beauty (thin thin thin) very sexy.
D Do you feel like women are objectified in popular representation?
C Yes
D Do you feel like being objectified is negative?
C Yes, we are so much more than mere objects; Pretty accessories with which to sell things.
D Is confidence and sexuality related?
C I believe that good sex and confidence are definitely related.
D Is confidence and being ‘sexy’ related?
C yes
D Is sexuality and being ‘sexy’ related?
C They can be, but they are not mutually exclusive.
D From what you’ve seen in my blogs, am I sexy?
C YES!!!! I think you are incredibly sexy. I was so sad when I first read that you were trying to become more sexy. I felt sad thinking that you don't see how sexy you already are. Then I read more and you kind of spoke to that, so I felt a bit better. But, yes, you are so sexy :)
And now, a story from Devon:
Today I walked around Robson square in a corset and crinoline holding a sign over my head. In case you’ve been avoiding downtown during the Olympics, Robson square is easily one of the busiest places in Vancouver. The zip line is there. The art gallery is there. Grandville street is a stone’s throw away. On top of the busy- ness it was sunny, warm Saturday. I have never seen that many people in one place before. Ever. And yet, I held my sign proudly above my head, made eye contact, smiled, and posed for tourists’ pictures. I’m not sure if that’s something I could have done successfully a year ago.
Today I was a sex object. But I did not feel objectified. It could be argued that whether or not I felt it I was being objectified. And I don’t really have a reply to that because, it’s true, I can’t control what people are thinking but I did feel in control because I had the confidence to give myself the authority to be in control. Corsets are my comfort zone and in that zone I am in control. I think that’s the key. You must have control of the situation to be a good sex object otherwise you become objectified and sexiness becomes something that is done to you not something that you just are. Just look at some of the more timeless sex symbols: Marilyn Monroe, Sofia Loren, and Marlene Ditchert. Sexiness doesn’t happen to them, it’s part of them. Now you just need to find your sexiness.
I have a book called The S Factor and I highly recommend you read it if you are a woman who does not feel like she has sex appeal. One of the exercises is to name your erotic creature who hides within you beneath your jeans, hoodie, and running shoes. I love this concept and I think that it helps to locate one if you need to infuse your life with your sensual, sexual side. I’ve decided that mine is me. She doesn’t get another name. She is Devon and I am her (although upon occasion, I go by Mistress DD but that’s more for shits and giggles). She is a Goddess but not the new age Goddess who is in every woman and goes to the spa (although I do love the spa) and lights lavender candles. No, my Goddess (me) is the terrible, beautiful kind who smites entire villages and requires daily human sacrifice. Temples must be erected in my honour. If you cross me, not only will you suffer but so will your family, your neighbours, and your accountant. Obviously I am attracted to power so bow mortals and worship me.
Your erotic creature will probably be something different. It might be something cutesy like a playboy bunny or Lolita Goth school girl or maybe it’s something darker and dominatrix like or perhaps you’re a nature lover and it’s got more of a mother earth feel. But I assure you, she’s there and you’ll know her when you see her. Finding her will help lead you to expressing your sensual self outside of the bedroom and out in the real world.
Once you have established your sexier side and you start letting her out to play, the next step is the flirt. Media has shown me that men like women who like and show that they like men, or at least the attention of men. The flirt not only demonstrates that you like the attention of men but it also gives the impression of interest in sex without promising anything or coming across as a big old slut. I have found that the best way to make people think you are interested in them is to be interested. Its simplistic but it’s true and it works. Be engaged: make eye contact, listen, laugh at jokes, and ask questions related to the conversation. This is the foundation. Everything else is just icing.
You can amplify your interest by:
• Making slightly prolonged eye contact (bordering on creepy by not crossing over) and then looking away quickly
• Touching the person’s arm to underline points, give sympathy, or agree
• Touching your face, neck, and hair
• Crossing and uncrossing your legs in a short skirt, Sharon Stone style (ok maybe not)
Oh right I also made a youtube channel complete with lip gloss video, it may take me a few weeks but eventually I come through… Big thank you to my lovely editor who well, edited it for me.
Next week is my monthly weigh in… please excuse me while I run around the block…
Ms. Dale
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