My diet fell apart in February. Excuses don’t change anything but I have them anyways. The 5th was my birthday while one day of binging is acceptable, a whole week of it isn’t, but damn it was tasty. Then the Olympics came to town and working ten hour days. I was too tired to make lunches so I grabbed whatever I could when it was time to eat. In the middle of the Olympics was reading break and by some miraculous act of the universe I managed to get two days off from school and work in a row. This was spent in bed with my editor... umm, editing and having him cook for me and then consuming what he cooked. We went for a couple walks but mostly I lay around and enjoyed being lazy and not having to be anywhere or do anything or anyone. Then at the end of the month (nowish) I got sick with the ‘too-many-people-in-the-sky-train’ plague. Or maybe it’s just a cold but I’m pretty sure I got it from the overcrowding of Olympic skytrains. Anyways I’ve been mowing down on cookies to make myself feel better and drinking fountains of coffee and tea with cream and sugar in between the almost lethal amounts of Dayquil and Nyquil I’m taking. Luckily I didn’t gain any weight, but I didn’t lose any either. I was hoping to be under 160lbs* but that’s not happening so time to move on and get back on track.
I find that the most difficult part of trying to lose weight is exercise. I always find excuses not to exercise or I tell myself that what I do is enough (like walking to the bus or train and back). I can’t seem to make a commitment to an abstract, generalized thing like exercise. While I was walking down to the train this morning, it occurred to me that I can make a commitment to being a better dancer. I would really like to get to the level of belly dance where I could be performing. I think I was at that point or at least close to it three years ago but it has been ages since I put on a coin belt and danced. I also have this pole in my room. I sacrificed a real bed (I sleep on a foam mattress on the floor) so that I would have the space to spin and yet I rarely use and when I do use it, I get frustrated because I’m so out of practice.
I’ve decided to use the S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely) goal setting I learning in C.A.P.P. (career and personal planning) to B.A.B.D. (become a better dancer... ok that one needs work). March will be the month of dance. Every day I will do 10 minutes of yoga to warm up, do 60 crunches (20 center, 20 each side) and weights (open to suggestions) to strengthen my core, then 15 minutes of belly dance, 15 minutes of pole dance, and then another 10 minutes of yoga to cool down. That should work out to about an hour of exercise. I have time for an hour, I will make time. To make sure I do what I say I’m going to do I will be posting a belly dance and a pole dance video on youtube regardless of what my talent level is in the first week of April. Let the fear of public humiliation fuel me to practice.
I don’t think that calorie counting works for me for two main reason. First of all, I cheat. I know I’m cheating but I still do it. I’ve used everything from ‘it doesn’t count if you eat standing up’ to not counting if I only eat one cookie, to under estimating everything I consume. Second, it stresses me out. I get stressed from not being able to record what I’ve been eating on my spark page because I’m not near a computer. I get stressed because I’m hungry. I get stressed because I’m worried I may pass out from not eating enough. And most of all I get stressed from cheating all the time. So I’m going to try something else for March and if it doesn’t work I’ll go back to counting calories in April. I’m going to focus on eating smaller portion sizes, sticking to less fatty foods (choosing chicken or fish over beef and no fries), drinking lots of water, waiting to be hungry to eat, and cutting out/ back the sweets. I’ve been pretty good about not eating chocolate bars but cookies and baked goods seem to always find a way into my stomach. I’m also going to try to switch out coffee with cream and sugar for green tea and pack lunches for school and work.
I’ve been wondering if I need some kind of test at the end of this experiment. I think I am self aware enough to judge whether or not I feel happier or like a more complete person at the end of the 6 months but I’ve been trying to figure out whether or not I needed a test to see if I have made myself sexier. What do you think? I’ve been mulling over a few ideas in my head, let me know if any of these sound reasonable:
• Apply for serving position at restaurants that typically only hire hot girls like Sammy J Peppers, Earls, or Hooters (just applying to see if I get interviewed)
• Post a before and after picture on hot or not and see which has a better rating
• Apply for a position as a stripper (just applying to see if I get interviewed)
• Apply for a position as an escort (just applying to see if I get interviewed)
• Give head shots to local acting and modeling agencies
• Go to the bar and see if I get more or less attention than I have previously
• Apply to various nude magazines (just applying to see if they’d consider me)
• All of the above, none of the above?
What do you kids out in the land of the internet think? Are there things you would like to see more of on my blog? Should I do a video blog for a change of pace? Do I need more pictures and less talking? Less pictures and more talking? Please don’t say less talking and less pictures because that will just make me sad. Is there something that you desperately would like me to cover? Do you have exercise or diet suggestions for me? I am happy to incorporate anything you would like into my blog but if no one speaks up then I will just continue to post whatever I think is relative to the project. If you disagree with anything I’m saying or you think I’ve gone too far of the path I’ve set out for myself, please let me know. All and any feedback is welcome and I am grateful for it.
Next week I’m going to focus on a touchy subject, yes touchier than sex. Next week I’m going to talk about fashion and clothing. OMFG (those who know me well, know not to come between me and my wardrobe) <- what a stupid girly thing to say.
Time to put down that cookie and spin off the weight.
Double D.
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Binge eating is so hard to overcome.
ReplyDeleteit really is, especially when food is delicious and i am stressed.
ReplyDeleteHi Devon, I have some suggestions in relation to food and exercise.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I eat what is available. If it's in my fridge or cupboards, I will be tempted and eventually give in. So, if it is possible for you to renovate your fridge/cupboards/pantry/secret chocolate bar hiding places, I would suggest doing so! Get rid of anything you know you shouldn't eat and replace it with stuff you know you should eat. I am a huge candy addict. I replaced all of my candy/sugary sweets with dried fruit which happens to be just as satisfying (if not more because I know it's better for me!). Stock up on fresh fruits/veggies (and avoid the high cal/fat dressings...). However, if you live with a bunch of people that need to have their pastries at an arms reach any time of day, you should inform them of your goal and what makes it challenging. Then they may be able to support and encourage you to make healthier choices (or spray you with a water bottle every time you reach for a cookie...) Drink lots of water! A lot of the time, we eat because its something to do with our hands, and because we think we are hungry, when really we are thirsty. It will hydrate you which will keep you going throughout the day. I find it helpful to prep a good lunch/dinner the night before so I dont feel rushed in the morning and end up buying cafeteria food (filled with chemicals, additives, extra fat, and who knows what else)
Now for exercise... I hate the gym, I hate running, I hate working out. Generally, I hate getting my heart-rate up, which is what you need to do to burn calories. Then I discovered Bikram Yoga. I hated this at first, too, because I found out it was exercise. But after I got over the fact that it's a little challenging, I began to love this practice. And guess what, you can burn about 800 calories in one class. Bikram Yoga combines the stretching, toning, and meditation of yoga with the sweating, strengthening, and heart pounding of Boot Camp. Plus, I (admittedly) feel a little sexy as I get to strip down to almost nothing in a room filled with others and bend over in awkward positions. Woot! It's worth a try, and I promise you'll see results fast.
Hope this helps a little or at least gives you some advice. I really admire your project and how open and honest you are with yourself and all these strangers on the internet. Suggestions for your blog? I'd like to see some more research/studies, maybe more interviews or stuff you have come across about what it means to be "female" or "sexy". Please keep it up and remember your intentions!
-Someone in a class of yours
wicked thank you for the advice and the feed back. you rock, but i have no clue who you are.
ReplyDelete